You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
