Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
