Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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