Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
