I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize