honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
