Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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