if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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