Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
