Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
