$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
