Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
