yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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