How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
