For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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