So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I want to have your abortion
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
