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And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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