Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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