this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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