i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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