If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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