I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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