Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
