I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
