is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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