I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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