i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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