Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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