I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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