Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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