shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
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Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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