just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
