the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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