our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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