Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Bring me that man meat
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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