...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
