I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
