so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
