He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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