hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
