the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
