all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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