Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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