he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Come on in and take your pants off
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