Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
