i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
