I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
