Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Randomize
