Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
