his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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