She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I need to align my fucking chakras
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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