she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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