Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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