I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
