why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
