I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories