i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize