Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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