Will you blow on my dice?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she peed on how many people?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
